That’s what the person nearest to me said when I asked him what he was thinking about, as we were speaking five second ago. That person being my boyfriend. My boyfriend who lives far away. Or, well…not so far away, but still 950 kilometers is not the equivalent of crossing the street.
And still, he warms my heart every time he looks at me and I just know, by looking at him, that in that split second all I can see in his eyes is myself. Some people tend to forget about the small details when they are in a relationship, some just rush in and then rush out as fast as they rushed in and never really get to know the person they were in a relationship with. I was stunned when I heard one of my room-mates saying that even though she was for almost two months in a relationship with someone, she didn’t manage to get a grip of that person, to really know what that person was like. In a way, almost two months is not much, but still…how can you stay with someone, share thoughts and maybe dreams, or just chit-chat, pretending to love them(as much as two months can allow ) and yet not know a thing about them, in general? It’s quite bizarre to like/love someone and not look at someone, at their soul , really.
Once I was walking towards my dorm, in a freezing cold evening and I overheard a couple behind me. The guy was really anxious about spending more time with the one who seemed to be his girlfriend and they seemed nice. They were, most likely, out in the city, maybe on a date, not for a simple walk(since the weather was dreadful) and they had at least some , if not a lot of fun. I thought to myself that most definitely the girl would say yes. I mean, every dorm has a large room on every ground floor where there are couches and a TV and the only disturbing feature would be the doorman ( if he’s not asleep or remotely solving his crosswords). They wouldn’t have been the first lovers who would whisper to one another words of passion. I see them everyday. Yet, what amazed me was her reply: „Oh, don’t worry, we can talk on Messenger, too…”
That particular evening got me thinking about how me and my boyfriend would have killed for an hour, at least an hour (a night even wouldn’t suffice) of sitting next to each other, embraced, laughing and kissing and not caring and how some people are so blind to realize how valuable spending time with their significant other really is. Probably the two lovebirds parted ways in front of her dorm and she went to her room, turned on her laptop, logged onto Facebook or YM and started typing, as soon as her boyfriend did the same thing, three buildings farther. How they were fools! Or maybe it’s just me being sentimental. Maybe I don’t know this trick…or maybe I have plenty of it every day.
I’m not saying that communicating with one’s boyfriend online is not OK (communication is good no matter which is the means it chooses to use), or communicating online with my boyfriend is dreadful, I’m saying that communicating online with my boyfriend is basically one of the only ways I can actually talk to him and see his face every day. Yet every moment I spend in front of the computer gets me closer to the person that I like and the person I want to get to know a long time from now. That’s why I can’t understand some people and that’s why most people don’t understand us. We have our own language. We communicate. We are aware of our weaknesses and not ashamed of them. Because some people are. Some people actually do think that saying „I miss you” to your boyfriend is a sign of weakness. But it’s not. Feelings communicate too, so it’s not right to strangle them and hope that at the end of the day you’ll have a bunch of days to hold on to and at least you’ll get to call that your relationship. And even though they pretty much need words, sometimes they communicate more efficiently when you two are face to face and words become superfluous. How can you care if you don’t express all the happy bundle you’re feeling? And how can you expect a relationship to grow and blossom, when you cut out its main cord to a healthy, normal development? Strangled feelings, as I said.
And I’m not getting into the „Communicate more bla bla ” that we see written everywhere, yet hardly ever practiced. This article isn’t about bragging about how great my long distance relationship is (although it is great) or that we are better in a way than others (we’re special) and how all the other relationships are fake and shouldn’t be taken into consideration, due to that fact. No. Every single human being that bonds with another human being is a relationship that is unique and full of potential from the time of its beginning, and it’s up to the two human beings in the equation to make the unknown of their liaison a sure fact, a steady feeling that increases its charm every single day and keeps the high standard . I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, I’m saying it’s gonna be worth it. A thing you have heard of in the „Communicate more bla bla”. What I meant by this article was to make people aware of the person that is near them , the person that cares about them and the person that they themselves care about and ask them to do one small thing. If you can, close your facebook page , close your laptop, take up your coat or just go to the other room and hug that special person that you like and remind them that they are loved. You know how nice that is, so why not do it yourself? You would be amazed at the results, because sometimes love is not in the grand gestures, but in the smallest details.
Like this one:
Hi hi hi…
The first picture here and the second one,well…the second one is in my boyfriend’s hard-disk. He really listened to my advice.*laugh*